What Babies Taught Me About Being Good With Women

Playing with a flashlight
Meet Bulli

This is Bulli (not his real name).

He is just 2 years old, but he already has a girlfriend. She’s half Korean and get this: she’s 4 years old.

Now I am not a children/babies person. Women gush all over each others’ babies: “Oh, your baby boy is soooooo cute” or “Ooooooh she’s just SOOOO adorable”, but all I see is a bald useless disaster waiting to burst into pee/shit/tears at any moment.

In truth, I suspect women don’t really mean it when they say their friends’ babies are cute, any more than when they tell each other how “fabulous” they look tonight.

But this kid is something else. Assuming he doesn’t second-guess himself in his teens and go all emo, I’d bet $$ he’ll be a natural player when he grows up.

Those eyes
I swear, he’s so gonna be a player.

Connection

I remember once I said to my then-girlfriend: “Women are like dogs”. But it isn’t completely true. Women are like animals, because we are animals.

We cannot use language to communicate with animals, but we can communicate with them through our behaviour, our moods, actions and body language. It is the same with babies and children.

Once I realized this, I found playing with babies and children and animals so much fun (because it’s just practicing speaking in another language!).

Unlike normal languages, everybody understands (although some humans may not speak) this language. The lions on the savannah understand it. The dogs and the horses understand it. I’m sure elephants and whales understand it too. And it’s much more powerful. No matter what you say with words, anything you say in this other universal language will override it.

Bulli speaks this language really well. On the surface, he says words like “od pa” or “beeboo” (I’ve also induced him to say “boobies”). But what he’s always saying is: “come play with me! I want to connect with you.” Now he says that to everybody, but what person wouldn’t be flattered by that?

When was the last time I approached a woman with fear and hesitation in my heart? I don’t even remember. But I do know that if you approach a dog with fear and hesitation, the dog will be suspicious of you, just as the woman will.

This is the medium through which charm flows to capture people’s hearts, but especially women’s hearts. You see, being good with women is actually being good with people.

Music

Watch Cory Henry and the bassist. This is what music is really all about, this communication. Even the audience gets it. It’s impossible not to get it.

I play classical piano well. Unfortunately when I was young I heard this line that “artists play only for themselves”. I heard a lot of bullshit back then, and I wasn’t discerning enough to tell the bullshit from the truth.

And so I only played for myself. I didn’t care what the audience thought, because I shouldn’t care. I never looked up from the keyboard to the audience. And still my skill impressed, and they all congratulated me afterwards. But after the performance, there was nothing. No lingering connection, no sense that we had experienced something, a sense of knowing understanding, together.

In fact, I had no idea that music could take people to such heights as shown in the video.

The truth is, deep down inside, I was only playing to show off. That can only take one so far. It is relatively easy to impress the masses. To go above and beyond, you must derive joy from the act yourself.

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